Quiet Leadership: The Subtle Actions That Build—or Break—Psychological Safety

Most leaders genuinely want teams that speak up, think critically, and take initiative. And yet, even in the most well-intentioned environments, people can hold back—not because they don’t care, but because it doesn’t always feel safe to share openly.

This disconnect isn’t about values or intent. It’s about subtle behaviours that send powerful signals.

Imagine a team that shares bold ideas, learns quickly from mistakes, and speaks up with confidence—even when it’s hard. That’s not a dream. That’s psychological safety in action and according to Google’s Project Aristotle, it’s the #1 driver of high-performing teams. It’s built—or broken—not by what leaders say, but by what they do.

Psychological safety is rooted in the micro-signals of leadership: the everyday cues that either support or disrupt that sense of trust.

This post is an invitation to reflect—a look at the often-invisible dynamics that shape whether teams feel safe enough to fully show up.

Is Safety Being Felt—Or Just Assumed?


“No 21st century organisation can afford to have a culture of fear. Fear silences all but the most confident voices, and small signals of impending risks are discounted or ignored”

– Dr. Amy Edmonson

Consider the 1986 NASA Challenger disaster. Engineers raised concerns about the shuttle’s O-rings—but hesitated to push back. Why? Because they feared being dismissed.

It’s a heartbreaking reminder that even high-trust, high-intellect teams can miss critical moments when psychological safety isn’t actively cultivated. These moments are rarely dramatic. They’re quiet. And they happen every day in workplaces around the world.

Leadership Blind Spots: Small behaviours can build or erode psychological safety

You don’t need to be a toxic leader to unintentionally suppress psychological safety. In fact, many of the behaviours that diminish it are so subtle—and so common—they often go unnoticed.

Blind spots are human. The key is building awareness around habitual behaviours, because often it’s the small, everyday actions that cause the most harm:

  • Glancing at your phone during meetings
  • Rushing through 1:1s with little space for reflection
  • Defaulting to “I’ll decide” when opinions differ
  • Forgetting to circle back when someone raises a concern

Individually, these are small moments. But these small cues send a loud message: “It’s not safe to take risks.”

If these don’t resonate—great. You may already be fostering more safety than you realize. If any of them sound familiar, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human—and it also means there’s an opportunity.

So let’s dig in: here are four practical shifts to strengthen psychological safety in your everyday interactions—plus the quiet habits that can subtly undermine them.

4 Simple Shifts to Improve Safety in Daily Interactions (and the habits that quietly interfere with them)

Normalize Learning Over Blame

When something doesn’t go to plan, swap “Who dropped the ball?” for “What can we learn?”

Why it matters: Curiosity signals safety. It builds a culture where mistakes become stepping stones, not setbacks. People speak up, take risks, and solve problems faster.
⚠️ Watch for: A “gotcha” culture. Responding to mistakes with blame or embarrassment teaches your team to hide issues. Subtle blame or finger-pointing, even in tone or phrasing, can make people retreat or stay silent.

Be Fully Present

Put away distractions and offer undivided attention—even for just 20 focused minutes.

Why it matters: Presence builds connection. When people feel truly seen, engagement and ownership rise. People lean in when they feel seen.
⚠️ Watch for: The “busy boss” reflex. Checking your phone mid-conversation may feel minor but can quietly erode trust. Multitasking or distractions, even small ones, can make others feel like they don’t matter.

Invite Challenge, Not Just Agreement

Ask: “What are we missing?” or “Does anyone see this differently?”—and create space for real responses. Assign a devil’s advocate if needed.

Why it matters: Dissent signals safety. Honest debate leads to better decisions and deeper alignment.
⚠️ Watch for: Polite silence and nodding. When meetings are too agreeable, you’re likely getting compliance, not commitment. If disagreement is rare, it may not mean everyone agrees—it may mean they’re holding back.

Share the Steering Wheel

Set clear parameters, then empower others to lead within them. Let decisions live beyond your final say.

Why it matters: When people feel trusted, they grow. It builds teams that think, act, and lead like owners. Leadership becomes a shared responsibility.
⚠️ Watch for: The “final say” or “I’ll just take care of it” reflex. Always taking the lead—however well-intended—can limit growth and discourage initiative.

Ready to Take Action? Try this:

The “Red Pen” Exercise

Look at the last 5 meetings or emails:

  • Were you inviting input—or just providing updates?
  • Did real discussion happen—or polite agreement?
  • Were you asking genuine questions—or giving answers?

Ask Your Team (Anonymously)

  • When do you feel most safe to speak up?
  • What’s one thing I do that makes it harder to be honest?
  • When do you tend to hold back—and why?

Reframe the Debrief

Shift from: “What went wrong?”
To:

  • “What did we learn?”
  • “What assumptions were we working from?”
  • “What will we try differently next time?”

Don’t Let Blind Spots Undermine Your Intentions


“A team is not a group of people who work together. A team is a group of people who trust each other.”

– Simon Sinek

You already care about your people. If you want a culture of trust, you need feedback too.

Be intentional about having people in your life (mentors, peers, professional coaches) who care enough to challenge you authentically. Find a leadership coach who fully believes in you and stretches you beyond your current edge. Someone who helps you spot the signals you may be missing. Invest in your capacity to create the space where your team can thrive

If you’re curious about that kind of support, meet our coaching team or book an exploratory call—we’d love to connect.

In our previous post, “Psychological Safety Done Right, we explored a crucial misconception: that psychological safety means comfort or conflict avoidance. In reality, the most psychologically safe teams are often the ones that wrestle with disagreement, challenge assumptions, and lean into tension with mutual respect. Psychological safety isn’t about being nice.

Today’s post builds on that idea by turning our attention to the micro-signals of leadership—the subtle behaviours that shape whether that kind of honesty is possible in the first place.

Next in the series, we’ll explore how to design a culture of smart risks, honest conversations, and breakthrough innovation, so courageous conversations and bold ideas become the norm, not the exception.

Stay tuned!